Murphy’s Law in Fabled-Facade

What is Murphy’s Law?

I think everybody know this popular phrase: “Whatever can go WRONG, will go WRONG” and this is exactly what been happening in this blog and to some extent, my life now.

Ok, so my itchy finger switch my blog to Blogger Beta with one dumb-ass click. N I regretted it and couldnt switch back. I delete the whole thing, start a new one. I cant just start a new one and not delete it cuz I WAN BACK MY URL. I would not forego Fabled-Facade mah.

So, I have been re-posting every posts with their date of original post. N what is happening now?

I received error everytime I republish my blog..it said 001 java.net.ConnectException: Connection refusedblog bla bla bla. What the fuck is that supposed to mean la? And they, Blogger didnt give anymore details or solutions . Ishh Ishh…

And I found out that my feeds is not working. My URL is not validate. Another headache.

And I still couldnt find a suitable way to categorize my posts.

My blog went *ka-put.

About my life right now, I feel so so DISTURBED by the acts of certain people. Some people can think that they are the smartest of all and everybody is an idiot, and worse, rule them with an iron-fist and dare to say…”I’m just a fellow student like u all, not a teacher here…so u all should be more active in bible study” Dumb ass. The only reason I duwan to say anything is cuz I duwan to make a scene in front of everybody but that person wait la… *blood boiling

What I’m goin to say, although it did not affect me directly but indirectly it really REALLy cause my blood to boil! If this is Islam thingy, I will really lost respect to it. We respect that people have a different religions but this is too much when they want to be good and uphold their religion, and affect other people’ ways of life.

In our hostel, we live by blocks with 2 or 3 rooms and toilet n bathroom. So, to go to one’s room, we have to go thru a block door and then a room door. My frens are living in a 2 room kind of block. This Arabic husband-wife living in another room. The rule in the hostel stated that a guy and a girl cannot live in the same block. This is because our hostel is occupied by mainly Malaysians aka Malays. U know la, the Malays or rather, Muslims are particular with guys-gals issue. Fine, I have no problems with that.

So why the Arab couple(the husband) can live with my frens who are girls? Cuz my frens are not Muslims. Why cant the Arab couple(the wife) live in a guys’ block? Cuz it will be dishonorable to the wife. See the irony here?? What the FUCK is this la?

At first, they seem nice and they mind their own business. Eventhou my frens’ safety are in jeopardize…come on la, he is a guy and they dont know him..what if he is a humsup kind? My frens have no problems with that.

And then slowly, they start giving more rules….rules that affect the freedom of living of my frens which is :-

- No guys should be in the block area even if for 5min. Even if my frens need to talk something like class stuff to the guys, and it is not comfortable to go to the room(maybe the other studying or sleepin) See the another irony here…the husband can be paradin naked in the block but it is allowed.

- Block door must be closed all the time. This is because the wife dun have to wear the ‘tudung’ or headscarf all the time even to go toilet. Cuz with the blockdoor open, there are chances that a guy walk pass and saw her “tudung-less”. Another irony here…

- Now, the ultimate dumb-irony here….No frens can come into the block and the room. The block door must be lock all the times. If it is urgent matter, only can sms the frens to come in but preferbly, NO FRENS CAN ENTER THE BLOCK. My frens are 20-somethings gals who have their social needs and their goddamn freedom! What the FUCK is this again? Who the FUCK are they to determine how my frens should live their live accordin to their(couple) preferances and their need to be holy? Is this holy?

One of those times in life – meeting this kind of people and just flabbergasted with them. Another bunch of holy-hypocrites!

Midnight Tweak-ing

Blogger/Blogosphere_

woo…I feel I’m getting more ‘active’ in blogging. Maybe soon, I’ll be addicted to it? You tell me lah, these days I keep on thinking what should I blog. I tries to remember the things I want to blog and keep in mind interesting jokes, phrases, ideas etc so I can put inside my blog. Deh~ I like blogging.

But I know, this wouldnt happen if not because of my friends who were into blogging now or just reading blogs. It is like a motivation for me to keep on continuing to blog (ah-hem~ since I was the 1st few and have an impressive blogsite) Splaattt!!! OOoouch!!! *got hit by rotten tomatoes* hehe.
Spent the night tweaking my blog…yeap, there are slight changes and more to come.

~A quick tour of Fabled-Facade now~

• The ‘Google Search’ is functioning properly now – if u click on WWW, u’ll search thru Google pages and if u click on ’search on Fabled-Facade’, u will of cuz search thru my site.
• There are new links in my blog-roll. Notably Azelia’ Stained Glass Windows, YinSan’ Variance of Me and Wen’ Spendiferous.
• Also, I found a very deep and meaningful blog (my kind of taste) by Simplefaith. these are the people that kinda motivate my blogging. N I’ll be grateful for those who read mine and have a blog, plz share with me.
• Added “Interesting Sites” – Erlend Mork and Wikipedia (psst FYI, u click on the images to go to the site) So this Erlend Mork’s site do not seem to be at the right place in my blog but hey, it is my subjective preferance. I love gothic-style, dark-motive thingy. Wikipedia is where I get my info about everything (even one of my lecturer get his lectures…I’m not kidding)
• New TagBoard but i think u guys knew about it edi. I have to sacrifice those priceless messages for a better, nicer and no spam-loaded tagboard.
• Music or SFTP(song for THE post)…it wont be playing the moment the site loaded anymore.kinda irritating for some and me included. Just a note,when I blog…I have a “music theme” for it.hehe. If u like the song, I can send it to u.

Things going to be added in soon…

• Category labels…heard Blogger Beta let us categorize our posts. So probably I’ll be changing to that soon if it suitable.
• Making Flickr as my permanent online photoalbum.
• ‘Decorating’ my blog title – I still have no idea how to use photoshop ler…more links and more ‘interesting sites’!!!!

yawn……..I’m goin to sleep now. Tomorrow, erm, I mean 6-7hours from now I WILL BE GOING TO IKEA! Woohoo!!!! Toodles.

Muhibbah in Nizhny (Deepavali ‘06)

My LifeLog_
First of all and although it is a bit too late…I would like to wish every Indians “Happy DEEPAVALI” and every Malays “Selamat Hari Raya”. Also for those who benefited from these two celebrations like I was… “Happy Holidays”.

It is so great to be born n live in a multi-racial country. We get to enjoy other races’ celebrations, have a taste of their traditional foods, experience their cultures (traditional costumes, songs, dances, games etc) No, I’m not writing a school essay here. Just going thru the semangat muhibbah (a malay word meaning ‘unity among nations’) that have been instilled in me since young.

No matter the fact that at times we criticize other races’ behaviour(although that is very wrong), feelin injustice that some race thought that they are more superior than others, generalizing certain races’ to certain crimes (ya, dun think we are all ignorantly holy now)..watever it is, at times like this, we wish, we hug and we celebrate with everyone who is anyone. That is something…really.

Of cuz, we, Malaysians here in Nizhny will not let go of this eventhou we are far away from home and we do not have a long-stretch holidays for balik kampung(goin back to hometown). But we celebrate it here together as Malaysians. The Indians(MISA) organized an open house on Saturday. It was simple but it was fantastic. All of them chipped in and cook for more than 500 students their traditional foods and hehe, I got my fav – kisiri(dunno correct spellin or not..but nvm). Took few pictures and had tons of fun with each other.

Too bad I didnt stay at the party for long cuz I needed to go with Aze to our pastor’s house. Promised Stephanie(pastor’s daughter) that we will accompany her for the night cuz the parents were away for conferance. Haha…n I have lotsa fun there too just cooking, eating, watching movie, fooling around.We stayed there for 2 nites and the 2nd nite Masha, our russian fren joined in the crazy bunch. Now I’m so dead tired. Luckily the Malaysians were given holiday today(or maybe we self-declared kua hehe) so I get to clean my room n blog!

Cant wait for coming Saturday cuz the Malays having an open house to celebrate Hari Raya.

Here are some pictures from the Deepavali party:

Time For Everything

I can’t believe my weekend is goin to be over soon n I did nothing that I shud do. The past week has been so hectic and on Friday night, I was so relieved that I get to rest that night n told myself that I need to do my works on Sat and Sun(after church). N guess wat, I fooled around on Sat, woke up too late for Sun’s church. I just only sent my clothes for laudry and I have tons of homework to do which is,

• Topic to study for Monday’s class (which is alot)
• My case report
• Two research assignments (Path.Anatomy and Pharmacology)

I am so so dead! haha. Time. Right now, I couldnt think of any but this verses (maybe thanks to my not being in church right now)

A time to plant and a time to uproot (Ecclesiastes3:2)

Actually, now I am having my internal medicine cycle (for non-medical students, it is a study of disturbances of the internal organs and how to diagnose it and treat it…we’ll learn how to read ECG, X-ray, CT, lab results bla bla bla…make a differential diagnosis and prescribe the correct meds. Ok, watch Dr.House and you know what I’m talking about) Yup, it is very important, exciting and u’ll get the feeling of Wow!..I’m saving human lives here!

But what it got to do with a dental student here? Beats me too! Well, maybe I can be the doctor in the house literally. My mum will be so proud of me that I can correct her about how to treat her hypertension (FYI, I did not cause it) and maybe rebuked her doctor’s words and prescribe the proper meds for her.Yeah, I can argue with a doctor with 10-20 years of experience. Gimme a high5!

Okok I’ll stop being a grudge here. Actually, I like studyin it too. I enjoyed myself although I was kinda timid facing patients and talkin to them. But everyday doing it, I’m beginning to get used to it and more confident. Also, it is sort-of satisfying my sole reason coming to russia at first. Those who do not know me, I was a medical student for the 1st two years before I switched to dentistry. Maybe this interest is partly due to my teacher. I like her….she is one of the best teachers I had so far. She makes the subject interesting and she doesnt pressure us alot as we are in dentistry. She doesnt make us feel like shit when we get the answers wrong. She’s cool. I hope I will have her for next year too.

One interesting thing that happened last week during the cycle was that we came across this patient. She was an actual Chernobyl’s victim. Not really a victim of the disaster, but one of the long-term health results of the disaster. Those who didn’t know, Chernobyl disaster was an accident in the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant(Ukraine) on 1986 consisting an explosion of the plant and subsequently a radioactive contamination to surrounding geographic area. The radioactive contamination affected the western side of Soviet Union, Europe, British Isles and Northern America. The whole town now is dead as in no one living there edi. Alot of people died of acute radiation exposure and till now, there are people suffering from it’s long term effect mainly cancer.

As I was saying, this patient, woman in her forties, she was living in a village near the town during that time. Although she wasnt an alcoholic drinker, she is now suffering from a severe liver cirrhosis which evidently, an alcoholic abuse’ disease. Her belly was so enlarged(bloated)….it look like she is carryin the whole largest baby inside and she couldnt sit-up and move. She could only lie down on the bed all the times. Cant even go to the toilet. There is nothing much to do except liver transplant but it is impossible cuz of financial probs. There is nothing else for her except time she got left and the pain that follows with it.

I could only feel her pains but I know her pains will be much greater than I imagined. I admired her that she could keep up a good spirit, she was nice when we were talkin to her. I also wondered about the people who caused the accident…whoever and whatever fault is it, those who were in-charge…how do they feel about the damages they caused to so many innocent people even after so many years.

Well, the truth is, I read some times ago about this disaster and that time, I was just thinking of the stupidity of human race (I have a borderline misanthrope attitude, k) but I didnt feel much for those innocent victims. Now that I seen one, I dont think I could forget the look of this woman. Again, these verses come into my mind now,

From Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven,

A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,

A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build,

A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain,

A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,

A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace

Indulging Faith_

Oh my God

As I said before, there is karma in life or maybe better to say in this case… there is this unique compensation mechanism in this universe. The very clear example happened right inside our bodies preventing our bodies from further damages after some initial damage.

The not very clear example, well..the unexplainable strange events that happened after you screwed up. The ‘highly-spirituals’ people will call it “Light” or something like that – signs that He is there. The ‘not so spirituals’ people will call it “Luck” or something like that. I’m not sure where I belongs to and yah, since I’m a Christian, I should believe there are no such things as Luck. But this is not the case here…not when me and God are not exactly in good terms here. But strange unexplainable events happened to me right now, right before my eyes. I couldnt deny that this is something”.

Last night, I asked Him questions about my life and confessed to Him how I really feel 2wards Him. Okok, He didnt exactly appear or a fire bush popped up…but at least I settled my issues and ’somebody’ heard it. Today I woke up late and skipped my class (gulp! I felt shit…I thot I could start my day without feeling guilty ) and now to think abt it…it was my choice. I could make it, I will be late but I went. Ok, back to the main topic here…I spent the morning surfing the net, reading blogs bla bla bla. It may seem nothing to you guys but someone sent me a forwarded email about “God and Barber”. I read it and felt abit better. It have been circulating around and it was not the 1st time I read it..so i think u guys must have receive it. And I dunno what’s got into me. I read the review of Jars of Clay latest album “Good Monsters” and i downloaded the song “Oh My God” (Ok fine, i commited a sin but that is not the main topic here). The song, well…taken from Amazon’s review,

“Oh My God” is the “showstopper” of this album. If “Good Monsters” is Album of the Year, “Oh My God” is the Song of the Year, and possibly of the decade. It is a song that one can not listen to, really listen to, and not be shaken by it. It begins with light strumming of acoustic guitar strings as David Haseltine’s voice softly enters with the first verse “Oh My God”. It’s a prayer, a modern-day psalm, a lamentation. The song has a slow, almost laborious pace that crescendos as instruments are added to the texture. It is constructed in three main parts, with no real “chorus” as modern music has made us accustomed to. It is one thought, one verse, piled on top of another thought, piled on top of another, connected only by the commonly used, and sometimes overused (by society) phrase “Oh My God”. There is a slight pause between the main sections of this song that allow a short moment for reflection, maybe even some relief from the heaviness this song provokes.

After listening for the 1st time, I felt so at peace. Not because it soothed me but I felt all my angers, my bitterness 2wards Him and everyone …everything was expressed in the song. Like when people tell u to punch the pillow if u are angry…to let go those angers. I could never write anything not even close to what is written in this lyric but this is exactly how I felt. Before this song, I was frustrated with everything and worst still, I couldnt expressed it or expressed it in a wrong way. Bottling it up and busting it out and hurt those closest to me. And at the same time, I know the actual truth. Esp this part of lyric spoke the reality of what I’m feeling and the effect of it.

If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I’d dream we’re better, scales were gone and faces lighter
When we wake we hate our brother, we still move to hurt each other

This song, this events wont solve my problems but to have that feeling that ’someone’ is there for me…it’s ok.

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
For flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain all fools say, “Oh my God.”

Oh my God, why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don’t bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friends
Oh my God

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats, and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools, sons and failures, theives will always say
Lost and found, ailing wanderers, healers always say
Whores and angels, men with problems, leavers always say
Broken hearted, separated, orphans always say
War creators, racial haters, preachers always say
Distant fathers, fallen warriors, givers always say
Pilgrim saints, lonely widows, users always say
Fearful mothers, watchful doubters, Saviors always say

Sometimes I can not forgive
and these days mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I’d dream we’re better, scales were gone and faces lighter
When we wake we hate our brother, we still move to hurt each other

Sometimes I can close my eyes and all the fear the keeps me silent
Falls below my heavy breathing, what makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder, we all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up, all the times I had to give up
Babies underneath their beds, in hospitals that cannot treat them
All the wounds that money causes, all the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children, this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers, this is our greatest offense
Oh my God Oh my God Oh my God

For those I have caused pain in their heart, I’m sorry.
For those who been praying for me, thank you.
For those who have spent their precious time to encourage me, ur efforts will be remembered.
For those who been listening to me, please don’t let it affect your faith and your life.
For those have cried cuz of me and still care abt me, I will not let you down again.
For those who feel what I felt, I hope this song will help you as it helped me.
To God, You are such a mean jerk and I love You. hehe.
Music Reflections_