Ghost Sat On Me???

In Chinese folk culture, they have this thing called “Ghost sat on you” while you were sleeping. It feel like you are paralyzed bodily and your mind are well-aware of it. You couldnt move for 30seconds to a min. It can be a pretty scary experience at times…esp after watching a horror movie late at night.

And that happened to me last night. Not only that, I also dreamt of “being paralyzed”. So it kinda I have twice that experience. Was freaked out for a moment then, but I was more concerned of getting enought sleep time..if not, I’ll be a super-blur gal in class the next morning.

Of cuz, there are no such thing as ghost sitting on you like this this picture here…

(The Nightmare by Henry Fuseli)

Yeap, this prove that alot of people had this kind of experience. Medically, it is called SLEEP PARALYSIS. It is condition when your body unable to move either shortly after waking up or shortly before falling asleep. This occurs when the brain is awakened to normal awake state but the body is not. And sleep paralysis may accompanied with hypnagogic hallucinations which means the person seem like going thru a period of falling asleep, or hypnopompia – period of waking up. That is what happened to me.

Of cuz, at that time…I didnt think of all these medical lingo or watsoever. I was a lil’ freaked-out! There I was trying to sleep and couldnt (hehe, cuz I slept too much in the afternoon), I needed the sufficient rest for the next day and suddenly, I couldnt move. And then I could move and sat up…only few moments later, I realized I was actually still ‘paralyze’. Also, my superstitious mind felt that there were ‘something‘ in my room…that there was this eerie feeling. I think I was mumbling the name Jesus or something. When I finally could move, I was thinking to myself, “No more long afternoon naps for me and please let me sleep”

One of the cause for sleep paralysis is disrupted sleep schedules. It also can be due to increased stress and changes in lifestyle. But if you are having uncontrollable naps (frequently fallin asleep during daytime at inappropriate time and places) and having sleep paralysis, u might be having a neurological condition called Narcolepsy. It is serious and needless to say, its aint healthy n affect ur lifestyle. So please seek help.

Right now, after a restless sleep night…I’m goin to catch up with my sleep and my Prince Charming dream. Toodles

Life’s Compensation Mechanism

First of all, I wanna wish a friend of mine who is on his way to UK to further his studies a safe journey and all the best. “Hey, I dunno when we will be able to contact each other but I’m hoping for it as I’m typin now”

Life is strange at times..maybe life do have some basic physic principles. To every actions, there are reactions. And life has it’s own way to compensate or we could say, a way to relieve our sorrows,bad lucks, inadequacies etc. I was feeling lonely during the summer cuz I feel, I was disappointed with one fact of life – all good things will come to an end. In my case, friendships are not permanent. We have to move on with our lives and with every move, we have to sacrifice some of our friendships. But…there are compensation. I met a new friend in a new place as if it is fated. Without realizing it, I found someone who also values friendship as much as I am, n feel what I feel. N thru him, I learn new things abt this world we r living in. If you are reading this, I just wanna say thanks n plz dun kembang too much! haha

Another suprising thing that happened and still happening…is none other than in blogosphere. I’m sayin that I have succesfully converted ppl into blogging. Those who have been following this blog will know how ‘hangat-hangat tahi ayam’ I am (I dunno how to put it in english,plz help). As I said earlier, with every move,we have to sacrifice some friendship. Some of these friendships…I never knew how valuble they are to me until they are gone. But I’m so happy to know some of my frens starting a blog of their own and together,I hope we can encourage each other to blog. It is so cool to keep in touch this way. It’s like having a SMKBian community in cyberworld. So peeps, if you are reading this and have a blog let me know k… I wanna link urs with my blog

Also, I’m so glad that Aze is starting to blog. The initial reason why I started a blog is so that ppl arnd the world will know about med/dental students in Russia particularly in Nizhny Novgorod and spreading the Word of God…which hehe, not ‘happening’ now with my blog. So with her in this blogging business, I know she will do a better job than me. Yup, although it is a Friendster’s blog and it rather new, she is gooooood…
(Now I need to figure out a way to convince her to join blogspot or maybe investin in our own domain..hehe…okok, let’s time take its own course)

Listening to “Easy Tonight” by Five for Fighting…. somehow I feel the song is expressing how I feel abt Life (it got nothing to do with the lyrics…maybe his voice and the piano)
My LifeLog_

Typical Monday Blues

Typical Monday Blues.

The first thing I thot abt after waking up at 6.15am was ‘When I finished my class today at 12pm, I WILL DEFINITELY GO AND TAKE A NAP.’ Hey, dun expect me to be a typical kiasu student who is SO enthu abt goin to class, excited that I’ll be learnin new materials and thankin God for a blessed day bla bla bla. SO NOT ME.
My motto – least amout of work, maximum result aka study-smart n take shortcuts when necessary.

Anyway, my day started feeling ‘blue’ and it didnt get any better. Somebody get me outta here! I cant stand my Path.Anat teacher. I cant wait for the cycle to be finished. Some people just not meant to teach and they insist to teach, plz buckle up the english when u chose to teach in English Medium course. Okok, she is not the only one and there are few more worse than her. But now, I’m havin her as my teacher…AARghhhhhhhh!

She finished every sentence with ‘Yeah?’ and another ‘Yeah.’ I couldnt help but to imagine her doing Usher’s Yeah!…a very bad rendition of Yeah!Or she will ask, “Do u all understand?” and answer herself “No?” “No” and begin with something else. We dont understand what she is teaching and we know if we ask her to repeat..we still wont understand it. God, help me to get thru till Friday n may I get my credit and finish with this torture.

Right after class, I stopped by at McD’s for lunch (I have a craving for cheeseburger..me dunno y). Had my lunch while watchin a movie…and…babies never sleep this well. Hehe. N only to be waken up cuz me, aze n tina need to go to pastor’ place for a talk. Issh issh. And after the talk, we went to have dinner at…hehe…McD! Yeah (usher’s). But I wasnt really in the mood for McD..not after what was happenned in pastor’s place. We had some issues with Christian Fellowship(CF)org but I felt disappointed with some ppl. But that is also concerning some unresolved issue I had last time…abt organization.Better leave it for next time to rant abt. If anyone is interested, can read it in Aze’s blog.

Ok…got to go. Oh god, I cant imagine wat will happen tomorrow with my ‘Yeah’ teacher. Gnite.

My LifeLog_

In Russia For Another Year…again

Reflections&Musings_
Havent been blogging for so long, I missed out alot! So many things been happening in blogosphere and my blog is almost dead. Personally, these days i am going thru alot soul-searching and i’m melancholic. Yeap, i know. Almost everything that come out from my mouth are ‘half-empty glass’ sentences and I’m doin it right now- writing an emo-post which almost everyone in blogosphere hate it. Boohoo!

I had a few moments that broke me deeply, n the healing process is none other than changing myself. I know I couldnt be myself like I used too. Circumstances dont permit it. Enough said…hope that whatever i’m doin to myself now, I wont regret it later.

I must be ashamed of myself…I thot that after my oldfren/classmate/good fren started a blog Novemberlass(switched to blogspot Variance of Me recently, she wont be blogging alot when she is back in US for her studies. She said it herself. But my my…she blogged alot! Hey gal, it was great to read ur blog and in a way, i felt we r keepin in touch. I will be blogging more vigorously to let you know how am i doin here,k.

Maybe this is a good sign. Seriously, i dont like myself like this. I wan to be happy, have fun n also achieved my goals. I will start my new semester with a new and improved ME. A Christian, a dental student, a gal, a fren, a lover(i hope!), and of cuz a blogger.

Hahaha…this is one heck of a confusing post but i never denied i have a split personality disorder.haha.

Neway, I was reading Paulo Coelho “The Zahir” and came across one passage I like and it has affected me positively about what I’m goin thru now. I modified the passage abit edi….

The Cathedral

It started out as a chapel. Many years passed, and the chapel became a church. Another century passed, and the church became a Gothic cathedral. The cathedral had had its moment of glory, there had been a structural problems, for a time it had been abandoned, then restoration work had distorted the whole shape of the building, but each generation thought it had solved the problem and would rework the original plans. Whatever they did – they raised a wall, took down a beam, created or bricked up a stained glass windows , and the cathedral withstood it all.

And suddenly, I realized something important: the cathedral is me, it is all of us. We are all growing and changing shape, we notice certain weaknesses that need to be corrected, we don’t always choose the best solution but we carry on regardless, trying to remain upright and decent, in order to honor NOT the walls or the doors or the windows, but to the empty space inside, the space where we worship and venerate what is dearest and most important to us.

What lies in the empty space of my inner cathedral? My Zahir.

I cant explain what is a Zahir he meant cuz i havent finish reading it yet.hehe. I dont really know what lies in my inner cathedral but I’m sure it is not me. And no, it is not God too. Maybe it is wrong but i believe it is ’someone’ but I’m not sure why.