Need More Time!

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I have about 3 more days before leaving to Russia. Every single moment, I was planning, scheduling and rescheduling my last few days here. I wish I have more time! And i regret those times I chose not to go out. I wish I taken Tiong’s advice seriously to just go all the way out and have maximum fun. Instead of dealing with my ‘mood-out’.

I know. Move on, Jacy. U can’t turn back time.

I’m gonna watch all the movies I can (except that ewwwwwww snaky show), I’m gonna shop till I drop, I’m gonna eat my fav foods till I puke, I’m gonna climb till I drop, I’m gonna meet with my frens and have some good times. I’m gonna treasure the time I still have here. I’m not goin to DIEla…but going back to russia is close enuf . Seriously…

Watched Click an hour ago. It was pretty good – a relaxin, family-oriented movie that make you go awwwww…. in the end. Coincidently, the movie was about time and priorities. Life is fragile,better start treasure those you love before it is too late.

“You Get What You Give” by New Radicals was played at the ending credits. Been such a long time i havent heard it. I used to like it when i was a teen…those memories.

Haiyah…so irritating. My com lagging like nobody business! Cant even type properly and i know,if i save it for tomorrow…i wont bother abt it anymore.

~This may be my last post in Msia for the year 2006~ sigh~

Midnite’s Melee

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First of all, I dun seem to be able to upload the song ‘Run” by Snow Patrol. I am using lifelogger.com as a host but it just won’t upload it. Hmmmm….my connection been actin funny too. sigh…streamyx again. Bengang with ‘em but can’t live without ‘em.

My time in Malaysia is running out…2-3weeks and I’ll be back to Russia. I won’t say I’m looking forward to go back but I can’t deny that I did wish I was back there at times. In Russia, I have my freedom, friends and something to do everyday. Too much holiday is not good – brain get rusty(notice tat my writing becoming terrrible?), I thought too much till I confused and depressed myself, wasted alot of money bla bla bla… But in Russia, i can just imagine what my life will be – alot of FRUSTRATIONS over my studies, with my friends and my life as a Christian. Part of life…u just cant have everything u want.

Wise people advised me to plan and change my life to overcome my future problems. Easier to say than to do it. I’m stubborn n cant let go of certain things in my life. I just feel that if i change that, I have to change my principals and i don’t see any good outcome from it. But i do admit certain attitudes of mine r questionable n worst, destructive. I shud be more attentive to my main priority i.e my studies n my ambition. I know I am not that talented or brilliant n i have to put in more effort to strive to be the best. But I dont want to end up as a robot.

How do one person let go of love? I’m not meaning those puppy BG lovey dovey thingy. I meant friendship love….i have attained (or I believed i have) a true friendship and understand the meaning of souls…and now, it is gone and now, friendships are determined by society. In that process, the friendship was burnt a lot of times, great mistakes were commited and trust was broken. I regretted it but never feel it shud be given up. But maybe, we all have a limit of how much frustrations can be stored in us.

I hear it somewhere that we shouldn’t give up easily but we must know when to give up and move on.

What is inside a human? Deep down? When it come to money n love, do humans think of themselves only? When it come to power, peace and lives can be sacrificed? When it come to life, do we fight each other to survive aka ’survival of the fittest’ theory? When it come to God, how many r truly commited to Him and not using His name for personal reasons?

Right now, I really feel as if I’m standing on a busy street, everything is passing me by and I just want to move away ….far far away.

Run

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Life is funny. It is a cycle. Everything we do in our lives…the harder we control it, the more things will go out our way. You could be with sombody and be happy but you don’t love them, or you love someone and not be with them. What people mostly do when they come to this situation? Maybe :-

a) Yeah, they make you happy but deep down, you know you don’t love them and you know, you will be ridden with guilts. Leave them and hope that you will meet someone you love and be happy.

b) It is safe. Period. Soon, you will love them. In this world, how many old couples actually started with love, rite?

c) Run. Build a wall and never let anyone ‘in’. The person u loved…they showed you what is love in reality – it is just the grown-up version of Santa Clause. It ends with disappointments, that’s all. And you cant choose option (b) cause the guilt will kill you.

No, you are wrong…I am not in a pathethic relationship. But I’m not exactly in a lovey-dovey mood too. I am just being melancholic. When I’m bored and tired, I am melancholic.

Neway, check out Snow Patrol – Run.